thestolencaryatid:

passive aggressive family members

"guess i’ll never be a grandma"

"guess i’ll never be an aunt"

"guess i’ll never be able to dress a niece/nephew"

stop feeling so entitled to my hypothetical offspring. it is not yours. it is mine. i will grow it if i grow it. and it will be mine. not yours. i am not an incubator which grants you familial titles. jesus. go away. this “have a baby i can play with” thing is so impersonal and insensitive and annoying.

(via justafatgirlinaskinnyworld)

me: haha hey guys do u dare me to eat this whole thing of ice cream

them: no

me: *shaking my head and chuckling* i cant believe you guys are making me do this

them: we're not

me: *eating right out of the thing* this is so wild you guys you're so fucked up for making me do this

bundere:

omicron42:

My neighborhood is just full of really adventurous snails. This little friend is trying to break into a truck, presumably to drive all his snail friends around and have a nice time.

IS THIS THE PREMISE OF THE MOVIE TURBO…..

2ollux-captor-ii2-my-dance2tor:

useless-worthless-nobody:

azalea-in-time:

When you go to a haunted house, it may seem like you’re being funny by trying to scare the actors or jump out at them when you go through a second time, but guess what? ITS NOT FUNNY.

You pay us to scare you. It is your choice to go, so don’t fucking go through if you’re going to ignore the rules and get too close to the actors as a ‘joke’.

These bruises happened because over the course of 4 hours, several people ignored the instructions that CLEARLY stated that they were to wait in the front room until told otherwise. Rather than listen, they ran into the next room and slammed into me- effectively throwing me into the wall. This didn’t only happen once. It happened ten times at LEAST.

Then we had this asshole who thought that once I ‘died’ for the haunt, he could pretend to kick me to see if I’d moved. I, being used to people abusing me- jumped back and slammed my head into the concrete wall.

YOU ARE NOT FUNNY BY BEING RUDE AT A HAUNTED HOUSE. WE ARE PAID ACTORS THAT YOU CHOOSE TO COME AND SEE PERFORM. YOU PAY US TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, SO DONT HIT US WHEN WE DO

I feel that this is relevant considering it is October and more Haunted Houses are opening up. I know it seems funny to scare the ‘monsters’ but all you do is hurt real people. So stop.

It’s not even October but I’m still spreading this

SIGNAL BOOOOOOOOSSSSSTTTTT!!!!!!! Now

(via cassietotallyjust)